Bacon, eggs and positivity

Recession? What recession ! That's the message of unswerving stoicism from the upbeat members of the Business Referral Exchange. Running as if on greased castors, this morning's meeting ( to which I was previously unaccustomed, so technically a guest ) proved to be a welcoming and enlightening affair. This is no talking shop; from the seamless opening words by Peter Dugmore - all your health insurance requirements - at www.wpa.org.uk/peterdugmore to an insightful presentation by Business and Personal Performance Coach and soon to be seminar and conference aficionado Ian Brendish - www.ibrendish.co.uk . These people represent the best in networking, or "connecting" as one self styled business guru once said.

A good testimonial never goes amiss and the Marketing Manager at one of our clients (littlewoodspoker.com), Stephanie Sammut gives this ringing endorsement of our services :
"Working with Wonkana on the Littlewoods Poker Podcast has enabled us to grow our online poker community and we're seeing our players coming back month after month to hear the latest edition. They offer outstanding service, not only in terms of quality and timescales, but they even took the time out to host a poker tournament on our behalf!"
Thanks, Steph. The podcast is on the server, as we say in the trade.

It's a busy time for us right now, pitching to numerous international companies with a podcast format we're more than happy to be first with. Again. Bringing broadcast values to online marketing really is our middle name, or at least it would be if the people at deed poll weren't so officious! I know a number of the B.R.E now have Wonkana packs and so their lives are truly complete, but our video is also here :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Rcr4ojLcSM

For all the podcasting that you've ever dreamt of.....and then some, drop me a line to the email below or go to our contact form at the website
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/contactus.php Your help in spreading the word, or at least this newsletter won't go unnoticed; it's all good karma. (other religions are available).

A stoned Moss garners no friends

All men are "c****" and "b*******". At least in the view of Kate Moss they are. It's this type of wayward and wholly unjustified outburst that makes me thankful my celebrity "star" has not yet risen above the Endsleigh Insurance firmament. I'm no great proponent of the C word and to hear this colourful description from a woman only serves to heighten its repugnance. Sure, we've all been there. A rotten experience with the opposite sex and the temptation to stereotype the entire gender is palpable. But it passes. Unless of course you're a neurotic, dysfunctional and misanthropic fashion model cum icon of vacuity. What a great name for an album - Icon of Vacuity. Spin your ipod wheel and there's the album artwork; a suitably pretentious pencil sketch of Ms Moss, with anti male bile cascading from her lips. Listen Mossy, if I went on the evidence of one bad relationship, all women would be unpredictable, irrational sociopaths and I'd be periodically checking the brake line on my peugeot.
Where's the even handedness, the circumspection and the reasoning? I guess that's the Peruvian marching powder for you. A few nosefuls of that stuff and everyone probably seems like a "c***" and a "b******". You can have a titter at more lampooning of coked up celebs by going to
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/waitingfordeath.php

The devil's in the detail

The title of today's prosaic meanderings came to me as a result of a meeting. This was, however, no ordinary meeting. As any self respecting new business ( and some older ones ) will know all too well, you will not get to see the CEO of the company you are pitching too. Certainly not on the first tryst. Unless you're fortunate enough to have met them at a "networking opportunity". Now I know that term conjures up images up lukewarm bacon sandwiches in Godawful hotels (c) Robert Craven or even "coffee, a piss and fag" as one less than effective radio manager puts it. Not so at the Enterprise Club at the University of Northampton. David Thomson, CEO of Best Deal Insurance had just given a presentation titled "Close that Sale". No suprise then that half the room wanted to combine a handshake with their business card a la Alan Partridge. Happily, I didn't give a paper cut to anyone from Nestle or any other confectioners. What did happen was a fortuitous and cordial chat with David, a self made businessman who embodies drive and a "can do" spirit. One conversation with him is like sipping on neat adrenaline. So meet we did in the impressive Best Deal HQ and pick over the power of podcasting. I was even made a cup of tea. By the CEO. Why shouldn't you go straight to the top? What's stopping you? You've got the organisation where the decision making and purse strings lie. For the best deals in insurance, I've no doubt it's Best Deal Insurance. For smart, compelling and professional podcasting, it's http://www.wonkanaproductions.com

The truth hurts

The time has come for some honesty. No punches will be pulled, no prisoners taken. Homemade / In House podcasting doesn't work. If a member of your team, however valued, feels an innate compulsion to plug a mic into the rear of an office pc and "interview" the CEO, make them stop. I don't care what it takes; a strategically placed stapler or the deft use of the flip chart which hasn't been used since that consultant wrote "bullshit baffles brains" on it. Just stop them. Look at your website. I'd be willing to guess your company has funded the weekend car driven so extravagantly by your web designer. So why would you publish an audio or video podcast that's ill conceived, badly presented and woefully under produced on your oh-so expensive pages? It's like putting a pig on a silk hat. Or something like that. Do you entertain clients at KFC? Are your reps driving around in Ladas that have your logo chalked on in freehand? Of course not. Don't devalue your site, your company and your brand - get the professionals in. Hear our credentials. Don't DIY.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/podcastingdemo.php

Shiny new episode

Aussie Col is pictured at the recent littlewoodspoker.com tournament pondering whether it is prudent to play some WFD sketches to Michael Greco.

Still looking for all your continued support with downloads and votes for our filthy little show.

Vote for Waiting For Death here:

http://www.european-podcast-award.eu/uk/start/vote-and-win/professional/type/player/uid/748/podid/748.html


BRAND NEW SUPER EXPANDED SPECIAL EPISODE AVAILABLE NOW

Syke News finally gets it's own show. A full length special edition and now officially our longest episode to date.Join our team as we give you the news behind the news.
What's Russia up to?
Is Naomi Campbell litigious?
Whatever happened to that Maddie girl?
Can John-Paul save your sex life?
And what's with this 2012 apocalypse malarkey?
For the answers to all these questions, plus the latest from the Beijing Olympics, it's time to get Newsed. And no one will news you harder than Syke News.


DOWNLOAD IT ON ITUNES NOW, OR LISTEN ONLINE AT:

http://wonkanaproductions.com/waitingfordeath.php

Fold, Call or Raise

No, this isn't an Eastend stand off between Beppe and his long lost brother Peter di Sharkio, but a rare quiet moment during Saturday's proceedings for the pan European poker tournament held in London by littlewoodspoker.com . The actor turner poker player Michael Greco and ineffable sports writer/commentator Peter Sharkey are shown at the Wonkana Productions interview table. Hear the full results in next month's Pokercast. At the top right of the page, Peter is pictured with the eventual winner of the 3 and a half hour thriller and it was certainly Deutschland uber alles.

http://www.littlewoodspoker.com/poker-lounge/online-poker-podcast

There's the door

Now and again you encounter the "closed mind" culture. It's usually found 'neath the shallow cover of the "my door is always open" culture.
I too have been employed by blinkered organisations who are threatened by ideas and opinions which emanate from non managerial quarters. You become accustomed to that sense of foreboding which means not only has your card been marked, but dipped in one coat-vandal proof-irremovable Hammerite. You could run the organisation better than they do. Incidentally, I make no apology for using the language of the polemicist. It's you and them.
A company with any semblance of gumption will actively harness the insight of intuitive and progressive staff. Not this one; the head of department feels undermined by every upstart fibre of your insolent being. You want the best for the business and the best for you?
If you don't like it, leave.
Is it actually possible in this day and age people are still being told that?
Well, not only is it happening, the threats industry is positively burgeoning. Invariably, weak senior management will draft in ( and I'm sorry for using the C word ) a consultant. I'm genuinely saddened by the interlopers, brigands and con men passing themselves off as consultants. Their oleaginous modus operandi is to window dress the message with gentle and encouraging words like "team", "collective" and "cohesion". If you're really lucky, they may even call upon the unbridled power of the flip chart and place a triangle inside a circle.
I'm afraid all the euphemisms in the handbook couldn't prevent one fat-headed fellow from showing his true colours to one particularly hard-pressed set of underpaid individuals.
" We're a team with a common purpose ", he told them, preferring the all encompassing "team" as he could never bring himself to shake the hand of anyone sub board level.
" And if anyone doesn't like their job; get up and leave now. " Quite a guy eh?
A room may be an inanimate space, but I think even it squirmed. Brick dust was seen to cascade. It's remarkable what sparks off a blog topic; one of the forthcoming episodes of Waiting For Death http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/waitingfordeath.php
deals beautifully with the foibles of the workplace.
And if you don't like it, you know where the door is.