I'm almost ashamed to admit it was Jason Donovan who said " you give me one good reason to leave me - I'll give you ten good reasons to stay ". Yes, his powers of persuasion may have been up there with Kofi Annan for sheer fluidity, but it didn't stop the accompanying album "10 Good Reasons" being shit-on-a-stick. What Jase lacked back in the innocent, heady days of the '80s was a podcast. Had he employed the considerable powers of this instrument of new media, his paramour would not only have stayed, but she'd have been loyal, continued to buy and recommended the said Antipodean vocalist to all and sundry. We may not have the boyish good looks of Mr Donovan in his pomp ( we do have more on top than he presently enjoys ) but we have 10,000 reasons to use our podcasting services.
The intuitive and pioneering fellows over at the Bristol Enterprise Network were one of our first audio podcasts and they could see the inherent value in the "stickiness" it creates to a website, the authority it lends to your area of business expertise and why having professionals produce it is the only way you get maximum effect. So where do I get this glorious figure of from? I'm sure you know me well enough by now to realise I'm not some marketing johnny come lately who dashes the internet and exhibitions with some ludicrously unjustifiable claim like "Increase your sales by 2,000 per cent". And yes, I do have a flyer for someone asserting just that. What I can say however is that the Entrepreneurs Question Time Event put on by the Bristol Enterprise Network has been downloaded 10,000 times.
Just think how many of those listeners weren't previously aware of B.E.Ns work and how many will join and attend events as a result. For podcasts that work, engage people and yield results come see us.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/
Friday, 26 September 2008
Wednesday, 24 September 2008
Today Europe, tomorrow The World
So here we are, some 20 odd episodes down the track and that august institution The People's World Podcast Awards is crying out for some Waiting for Death action http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/waitingfordeath.php . And well they might. My ineffable colleague and WFD creator Colin McGinness has slaved over many a hot ISDN and toiled relentlessly at his Pro Tools to realise his comedy vision. A disparate band of voice overs and presenters, weary of their strapline existence were ready to throw off their shackles and get political, subservice and rude! It was and still is the only professionally produced sketch comedy in a podcast only format. No BBC might lurking behind every script and no sprawling commercial entity providing a vast pool of funds. Just creativity, dedication and goodwill. Already it's caught the eye of our European cousins and we're happy to take your votes in the name of democracy and err vanity. Of course, we don't just want to be in the competition, we want to win it. I know that makes us sound like Andy Murray, but trust me when I say we don't share the unruly curls or stroppy demeanour.
This is how it works :
Visit the site http://www.worldpodcastawards.com/
In Podcast Name put Waiting for Death.
In Podcast URL put http://www.blastpodcast.com/viewpodcast.html?id=572
Nominations form 40 per cent of the process. Isn't it time you showed us some love?
This is how it works :
Visit the site http://www.worldpodcastawards.com/
In Podcast Name put Waiting for Death.
In Podcast URL put http://www.blastpodcast.com/viewpodcast.html?id=572
Nominations form 40 per cent of the process. Isn't it time you showed us some love?
Thursday, 18 September 2008
Wise and Morecambe
Is it possible to do a disservice to a town in Lancashire? On the evidence of this morning, the answer is an unequivocal "yes". Think of Morecambe and the collective conscious turns to the statue of Eric and at a push, potted shrimp. At least the latter is true for ardent acolytes of seafood kingpin Rick Stein. I'd just consumed another not so full English ( didn't fancy the fried egg ) when my Morecambe ignorance thwacked me square between the eyes. Inside Ex, organised by the enterprising Price dynasty is the B2B exhibition arm of Inside Business, a suitably prosaic periodical. They get business talking, pressing the flesh and on occasion, paddling palms and pinching fingers. Their guest speaker at today's breakfast event was Red or Dead pioneer, eco campaigner and housing visionary Wayne Hemingway. And of course, son of Morecambe. For someone so steeped in the London firmament, Wayne retains his gritty Northern candour. It's apparent that he tones down nothing for the politicians and the assorted groups that consult with him. Being brave and never minding his P's and Q's has been the making of Wayne Hemingway. Morecambe is proud.
Wednesday, 17 September 2008
Get working Networking
The more breakfast networking events we attend as Wonkana Productions, the more dynamism I uncover in fellow businesses. Somebody clearly forgot to tell ITV News, the BBC and the Chancellor that we're not all slipping into a lachrymose catatonia. Freshly laid gravel crunched as Aussie Col and I wound our way up to the scholastic portals of the Sunley Management Centre at the University of Northampton. Today was BNI day. Yes, I'm gradually working my way through a pantheon of initials and acronyms. First came the Enterprise Club, or the EC as I like to call it. They probably don't; who'd want to be the EC other than the EC?! Quite.
Then it was the BRX, BMB, The BC of Northampton and this morning the auspicious corridors of the BNI Sixfields Chapter. The well conceived formatics of such a meeting mirror the conventions of the BRX with referral slips, 60 second introductions and a hot British Isles breakfast. I think someone at BNI has upped the anti on the introductions front; they project a minute timer onto a screen and at precisely 60 seconds in it flashes "TIME UP!". Tempus Fugit as we say when us networkers are extemporising. What to leave out? Should I drop that gag as a crowd pleaser? All these intoxicating conundrums must be resolved on a foundation of fried bread, bacon, sausage and the usual accoutrement's. Some hearty fayre to set these ebullient businesses up for the day, washed down with a cup of optimism. There was no shortage of good humoured banter, with established members voicing each other's strap lines in their finest accapella. Already we have enquiries, meetings and points of contact. We have interest. Which is more than can be said for Gordon, Alistair and his motley band of fiscal reprobates. BNI for Prime Minister I say.
Then it was the BRX, BMB, The BC of Northampton and this morning the auspicious corridors of the BNI Sixfields Chapter. The well conceived formatics of such a meeting mirror the conventions of the BRX with referral slips, 60 second introductions and a hot British Isles breakfast. I think someone at BNI has upped the anti on the introductions front; they project a minute timer onto a screen and at precisely 60 seconds in it flashes "TIME UP!". Tempus Fugit as we say when us networkers are extemporising. What to leave out? Should I drop that gag as a crowd pleaser? All these intoxicating conundrums must be resolved on a foundation of fried bread, bacon, sausage and the usual accoutrement's. Some hearty fayre to set these ebullient businesses up for the day, washed down with a cup of optimism. There was no shortage of good humoured banter, with established members voicing each other's strap lines in their finest accapella. Already we have enquiries, meetings and points of contact. We have interest. Which is more than can be said for Gordon, Alistair and his motley band of fiscal reprobates. BNI for Prime Minister I say.
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
When Particles Collider
If you're reading this, the likelihood of us all being swallowed up by an artificial black hole will have diminished somewhat ( don't you just long for the Stephen Hawking Voice Programme sometimes? ). Typical. We can't even create a man made vacuum in space. Clearly they forgot to call that clever Dyson bloke from Wiltshire. A dual cyclone, ball tilting, pet hair removing cylinder would have done the job. And you can call me Susan if it isn't so.
So now they've really "opened up" the Large Hadron Collider to full tilt, what have these malevolent protons shown us? Well, couched in the verbiage of the layman, giant detectors will scour the "subatomic wreckage" for evidence of new physics.
Those in the know say the universe is made up of 25% dark matter, a mysterious substance as well hidden as Westlife's talent.
One of the first likely discoveries from Cern is a theory called Supersymmetry. As much as this sounds like a feature of "Trinny and Susannah Undress The Nation", it isn't. It is an idea which predicts that every fundamental particle in the universe has an invisible, overweight twin. Now don't go blaming this poor particle for it's obesity. It can't help it and your oppression and ridicule of it only serves to diminish its contribution to society. So what is the answer to all these scientific imponderables and what possible benefit will it bring you and I? Well, hopefully a better name than the current plethora of bizarre suggestions.
Squark, Twin of the Quark, The Photino, Twin of the Photon and The Stuff of light. I think there's a real gap in the market to make a compelling and accessible science podcast and there's only one company to do it.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/creativeconcepts.php
So now they've really "opened up" the Large Hadron Collider to full tilt, what have these malevolent protons shown us? Well, couched in the verbiage of the layman, giant detectors will scour the "subatomic wreckage" for evidence of new physics.
Those in the know say the universe is made up of 25% dark matter, a mysterious substance as well hidden as Westlife's talent.
One of the first likely discoveries from Cern is a theory called Supersymmetry. As much as this sounds like a feature of "Trinny and Susannah Undress The Nation", it isn't. It is an idea which predicts that every fundamental particle in the universe has an invisible, overweight twin. Now don't go blaming this poor particle for it's obesity. It can't help it and your oppression and ridicule of it only serves to diminish its contribution to society. So what is the answer to all these scientific imponderables and what possible benefit will it bring you and I? Well, hopefully a better name than the current plethora of bizarre suggestions.
Squark, Twin of the Quark, The Photino, Twin of the Photon and The Stuff of light. I think there's a real gap in the market to make a compelling and accessible science podcast and there's only one company to do it.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/creativeconcepts.php
Tuesday, 9 September 2008
Casting, casting - RETV
One of the services we provide at Wonkana is TV presenting and Real Estate TV, the property channel has asked me to try out for a new role which is being filmed at the London Stock Exchange. Part of the casting requires some self written spiel about buyer's tips, emerging markets and the like - this is a rough draft of mine.
“ Buy low, sell high “; that’s the nuts and bolts, the meat and drink of property development. Well, buying low is certainly possible in the current climate as many developers weep into their gilt edged portfolios. However, the present situation may yet prove to be advantageous and you could find yourself a tidy profit before Deborah Meaden can say “ I’m out ! “. This is the one occasion it’s okay to use the C word on television. Consolidation. Maximise that 200 grand end terrace your procured at auction by working smarter. So, before you go wild in the dolphin bathroom aisles, think about recycling. Think about the car boot sale. Yes, it’s worth leaping from your stinking pit first thing on a Sunday to pick up some cut price fixtures and fittings. And what’s more, you’re being greener than Graham Greene working for the Green Party whilst listening to Green Day. Those Ikea prints and Mira electric shower (still boxed) are yours for 15 quid and you’ve ticked the recycling box…..we’ll conveniently overlook the booter’s standard issue plastic bag.
As a potential buyer of course, you do need to be switched on and clued up. Has the place been kitted out in state-of-the-art gadgets that might look good but frankly fail to add any real value to the house? After all, it’s a home first and foremost – a roof over your head, so is the intelligent lighting and wireless music system necessary or is it just so they can slap another 10 grand on the asking price? If the property is over the odds now, the picture won’t be much better when you come to sell. Going back to the eco friendly theme may be the answer – environmentally sound additions to your home might just make it a more attractive proposition….”A” rated white goods, solar panels, good insulation and cavity wall treatment. Not forgetting those energy saving light bulbs – yes, I know they take eons to come on, but this is the planet we’re talking about !
Education, education, education is arguably as important as Location, location, location. All parents know the importance of a good catchment area. But don’t just rely on league tables and Ofsted reports – these may be a useful guide, but nothing beats talking to other parents. Find out what makes the school tick – is it really the right choice for your child? It may claim to be the best school in Christendom on paper, but if it doesn’t live up to that, have you bought in the right area?
So where are the emerging markets? The Floridian holiday home for the terminally retired has been and gone, the former Eastern Bloc is a firm favourite and timeshare is…well, timeshare. If it’s reconstruction you want to be in on, you could do worse than Iraq and Afghanistan. It is possible to pick up an en suite cave for not much money. On a serious note, developers have identified the humble student as a gap in the market. Bespoke, hard wearing flats can be let out year after year, as the student is now a far more discerning breed. Not for then a run down 3 bed mid terrace with regulation pot noodle and daytime tv. The win is centralized, modern and functional student apartments. Make sure you do your homework though – wi fi and quick broadband will be a must. As more and more school leavers are encouraged into higher education, the need for accommodation naturally increases and your bottom line looks increasingly healthy.
“ Buy low, sell high “; that’s the nuts and bolts, the meat and drink of property development. Well, buying low is certainly possible in the current climate as many developers weep into their gilt edged portfolios. However, the present situation may yet prove to be advantageous and you could find yourself a tidy profit before Deborah Meaden can say “ I’m out ! “. This is the one occasion it’s okay to use the C word on television. Consolidation. Maximise that 200 grand end terrace your procured at auction by working smarter. So, before you go wild in the dolphin bathroom aisles, think about recycling. Think about the car boot sale. Yes, it’s worth leaping from your stinking pit first thing on a Sunday to pick up some cut price fixtures and fittings. And what’s more, you’re being greener than Graham Greene working for the Green Party whilst listening to Green Day. Those Ikea prints and Mira electric shower (still boxed) are yours for 15 quid and you’ve ticked the recycling box…..we’ll conveniently overlook the booter’s standard issue plastic bag.
As a potential buyer of course, you do need to be switched on and clued up. Has the place been kitted out in state-of-the-art gadgets that might look good but frankly fail to add any real value to the house? After all, it’s a home first and foremost – a roof over your head, so is the intelligent lighting and wireless music system necessary or is it just so they can slap another 10 grand on the asking price? If the property is over the odds now, the picture won’t be much better when you come to sell. Going back to the eco friendly theme may be the answer – environmentally sound additions to your home might just make it a more attractive proposition….”A” rated white goods, solar panels, good insulation and cavity wall treatment. Not forgetting those energy saving light bulbs – yes, I know they take eons to come on, but this is the planet we’re talking about !
Education, education, education is arguably as important as Location, location, location. All parents know the importance of a good catchment area. But don’t just rely on league tables and Ofsted reports – these may be a useful guide, but nothing beats talking to other parents. Find out what makes the school tick – is it really the right choice for your child? It may claim to be the best school in Christendom on paper, but if it doesn’t live up to that, have you bought in the right area?
So where are the emerging markets? The Floridian holiday home for the terminally retired has been and gone, the former Eastern Bloc is a firm favourite and timeshare is…well, timeshare. If it’s reconstruction you want to be in on, you could do worse than Iraq and Afghanistan. It is possible to pick up an en suite cave for not much money. On a serious note, developers have identified the humble student as a gap in the market. Bespoke, hard wearing flats can be let out year after year, as the student is now a far more discerning breed. Not for then a run down 3 bed mid terrace with regulation pot noodle and daytime tv. The win is centralized, modern and functional student apartments. Make sure you do your homework though – wi fi and quick broadband will be a must. As more and more school leavers are encouraged into higher education, the need for accommodation naturally increases and your bottom line looks increasingly healthy.
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
Big Plans
Our American division has been busy creating a test sequence for the TV pilot of "Waiting for Death". Here are the results of their endeavours - it's very much "early doors", but it just gives you a glimpse into the Wonkana comedy writing arm.
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Unashamed Plugging
Wonkana Productions creates Podcasts of the highest standards.
Professional scriptwriting.
Voice over artists.
High end production values.
Our desire is to create a new marketing tool for your business
that adds depth and clarity to what you do.
No matter what your business, we will help advise and produce a quality podcast that sets your business apart from all the rest.
Our approach is to give you control of this powerful new advertising and promotional solution.
You’ll have a presentation that’s not just for your website,
but free to use on your phone systems or in-store where appropriate. You can use your podcast however you want.
You can even sell advertising in your presentation.
It's entirely up to you.
Think beyond the print ads in the paper and the rushed
30 second commercials on radio.
Now is the time to tell the world about your business, with the quality and integrity it deserves.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com
Professional scriptwriting.
Voice over artists.
High end production values.
Our desire is to create a new marketing tool for your business
that adds depth and clarity to what you do.
No matter what your business, we will help advise and produce a quality podcast that sets your business apart from all the rest.
Our approach is to give you control of this powerful new advertising and promotional solution.
You’ll have a presentation that’s not just for your website,
but free to use on your phone systems or in-store where appropriate. You can use your podcast however you want.
You can even sell advertising in your presentation.
It's entirely up to you.
Think beyond the print ads in the paper and the rushed
30 second commercials on radio.
Now is the time to tell the world about your business, with the quality and integrity it deserves.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com
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