You're Hired! Episode 9

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We won the cup!

 

Create web video, but PLEASE not like this.

Ill conceived. Muddled. Detrimental. And that's me being kind. If I read one more blog or Twitter tip that glibly says you should "enhance your web presence with video-and it doesn't have to cost a thing", I may spit. Of course it costs. You may not have to spend tens of thousands of pounds on a lavish production which explores the outer reaches of Final Cut Pros capabilities but why would you want to make your company look rubbish? It makes no sense to buy into this amorphous and nonsensical rot that "all you need is a phone with a camera; even a webcam will do". NO IT WON'T DO. No more than you would sign off a piece of business artwork which resembled a dying spider crawling across the page.
The people spouting this unhelpful drivel always "film" themselves in a cluttered and untidy room with half a grubby curtain in shot, replete with tinny sound and woeful shot composition.
I don't know of any walk of professional life where "that will do" is a commendable ethos or something to strive for especially not when it comes to the image of your business. I don't care if you're a one man band life coach or a national organisation, you do not give you web designer £500-£2,000 and then make your own crappy video. Unless you want to be a laughing stock. Yes it's great that so much effective technology is reaching a much wider market but sometimes, you need someone with skill, experience and insight. I would no more expect the CEO of Barclays to pick up a mobile phone and shoot his corporate video than I would visit the local oncology unit and start administering chemotherapy with no background in it whatsoever.

Look at The Emperor's new clothes!

I never bought the platitude "there are no new ideas". It evoked thoughts of defeatism and cynicism; pretty undesirable qualities if you have an iota of optimism in your make up. I believe there are fresh and innovative concepts crackling away and that the original will always triumph over the re hashed. It is somewhat dispiriting however to see even trifling numbers follow slightly re worked ideas as if the espouser was some kind of Messiah. I can think of nothing worse in business than the Tin God.

One of these characters in particular is a pitiful amalgam of leviathan proportioned ego, self righteousness coated in the thinnest veneer of what he believes to be "personality" and a bar room philosopher of the worst kind. Worse still, all his ideas are someone else's. A stuck record of the hackneyed and the empty headed, a litany of arrogance fuelled proclamations that he can't even be bothered to rename or re package. Hubristically speaking, you'll find none worse. Find some ideas of your own. And fast.

An opinion + a platform does not = expert

I like to call it "marketing white noise". The cacophony of minutiae and tedium that meanders through cyberspace. Bless our chums at Twitter for opening up the field of the nebulous and the downright pointless. "Just got back into the office and grabbed a skinny latte". Forgive me if I don't whoop and holler and commend you on your choice of vacuities. It strikes me that just because we've got myriad outlets for our less than lucid outpourings, we don't have to climb on board the latest social media bandwagon. Never confuse being opinionated and shouting the loudest with being an aficionado. That's not how it works.

The Dark fab 5

More video excellence.

Strewth Bruce, we sprang a leak!

Confidential blacklists, secret files and hush hush memos are normally the preserve of slick American tv drama on Sky One. Military bases, disused farm out-buildings and a cast of shadowy figures are the staple of such shows. You wouldn't normally have put Australia in the same subversive bracket. The land that gave us Rolf Harris, Neighbours and Crocodile Dundee has itself entered the murky world of the classified and the covert.
The Aussie Government, who we only normally hear from when they ratchet up immigration policy, have endured a leak of potentially uncomfortable proportions.
A supposedly secret blacklist of various adult orientated websites unjustly features at least a dozen online poker and gambling sites. This is contrary to the stated intentions of the list, which was produced by the Australian Communications and Media Authority.
The sinister move is part of a trial run which will see Internet Service Providers secretly blocking access to any site on the list.
Whistle blowing website wikileaks.com is not known for a particularly pro authority stance. A cursory examination of this internet based black-balling reveals that littlewoodspoker.com has escaped the list, but a whole phalanx of our poker peers haven’t been quite so fortunate.
Stephen Conroy, Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy has been quick to play down the authenticity of the list, lambasting it as a fake. “This is not the ACMA blacklist”, he pronounced, citing the disparity between the number of URLs as hard evidence of its bogusness.
Cynical to the last, Wikileaks maintains the government claim of banning pornography is a catch all statement that makes broad based censorship fait accompli for any administration.
Meanwhile, we’re wondering if the post “Minister for Broadband” is a real job or just a dot con.

iTunes - music to our ears

The gold medal. A CBE. Perhaps the occasional Knight of the Garter. These treasures and trinkets all sit comfortably in the great pantheon of decoration. However, a new pretender to the crown marches on the collective sub conscious. "New and Notable" are two heavyweight words to be conjured with if you're in podcasting. And we are. The newest production bairn to the Wonkana stable is a really vibrant and highly listenable careers podcast known as "You're Hired".( http://www.ethosrecruitment.com/ ) It's the official podcast of Ethos Recruitment who have offices in Towcester and Daventry.

Julia Doherty, Director of Ethos and top Twitter user (try saying that after a yard of chateau neuf de pape!) works closely with us to deliver great content on all aspects of the job market. Julia hosts the podcast and interviews a fresh guest every month, whilst handing out great advice on topics like interview skills. The good people at iTunes have sat up and taken notice and "You're Hired" has just made it onto their "New and Notable" list at the top of the podcast store. Move over OBE, a new accolade is in town and Ethos and Wonkana have it.

Swing low, sweet poker face

Hurtling as we are towards another weekend, let's begin with a piece of jingoism as unreserved as it is unapologetic. England is proud. Well at least it is if you like your balls elliptical. The French were positively downcast at Rugby HQ and a modicum of national pride has been restored.

Now Ray Smith of Hatton Lane in Greenbank may not have seen off fifteen sweating men built like external lavatory facilities, but the hitherto considerable cachet of North Wales and the North West rests squarely on Ray’s shoulders. National recognition awaits this valiant regional poker champion after his decisive victory in the regional finals. It’s all down to the small matter of a straight face and playing his cards right.

At the end of this month, Ray will be up against it in the televised tournament, if only for frankly bizarre choice of hosts. Who could have possibly arrived at the idea of pairing deadpan former snooker supremo Jimmy “Whirlwind” White with dead-behind-the-eyes nurse cum glamour model cum alleged celebrity Abi Titmuss? This has to be down there with the all time greats of preposterous and spatchcock double acts headlined by the train wreck that was Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood.

If Ray wins, Hartford Hall will go down in the annals of poker folklore as it all began there for the 51 year old amateur. Playing for points on a sunday night two years ago, he claims his success is a mixture of luck and skill, two elements that so eluded the French at Twickenham last weekend. And we didn’t relish the afternoon of unadulterated schadenfreude. Much.

Wonkana - the best videos in the west

This is a bit of stop press that makes us hugely proud of our ever growing business. Having quickly achieved a reputation for the most creative and visually stunning videos, Wonkana Productions has been commissioned to film the prestigious poker tournament taking place at the end of March in London's Grosvenor Victoria Casino. Tony Cascarino, Michael Greco and Peter Sharkey under the watchful Wonkana eye. More details at http://www.littlewoodspoker.com

You need The Wealth Team

Wealth Team Tease Version 2

Shiny new Wonkana video

A fitted vest for Kanye West?

" I used to be scared to talk to a gay person." Perhaps not the greatest shock to learn this less than broad minded perspective emanates from the hip hop community. In a recent MTV interview, Kanye West points the finger at fellow rappers ( naming no names, presumably for fear of being peppered by the indiscriminate ammo from a Mach 10 ) and says his contemporaries worry what other people will think if they converse with a homosexual. In a piece of bar room philosophy almost akin to Socrates in its profundity, West denied that a person's dress sense betrays their sexuality, adding he is secure with his own orientation and happy to talk to gay people. How magnanimous !

West said: "In hip-hop, there's people - and let's not even say scared like homophobic - but they're scared of the way people gonna look at them." At the peak of his libertarian powers, our conciliatory friend declares he's happy to dress in an outlandish fashion and have conversations with people who he refers to as " blatantly gay ".

Now there's a category that councils will be latching onto. Degrees of gayness. " Please tick the box you consider most applies to yourself."

Are you (a) Secretly gay (b) Openly but subtly gay or (c) Blatantly gay ?

If only the world had more rappers.

Christian Bale - No Salvation

"Do you want me to trash your lights? Do you want me to trash your effin' lights?" Not the most convincing or sinister of threats; in fact a rather cissy and milksop excuse of a hissy fit. Nonetheless an ill judged and pretentious tirade. Frankly, a wildly generous philanthropic gesture of Bruce Wayne proportions couldn't restore the damaged reputation of Mr Bale now. What of the films director ? What say you, Mr McG? A deafening silence. It would appear that the living tissue over his metal endo skeleton conceals one missing but vital element : a spine. Not a word of castigation for our self absorbed protagonist. Massively paid film actors are beyond reproach and too terrified to call Bale's bluff, McG (wasn't he Madame Cholet's hubby in The Wombles?) cowers into his panaflex lens. It's one thing to chide someone for wandering onto set during an emotionally charged scene, another to smash up their fluorescent tubes. Christian Bale is so big for his boots that there is now only one course of action; send a cyborg back in time to teach the punk some manners.

Wonkana's unbridled success

There's much to crow about in Wonkana podcasting circles. The new media chattering classes are agog at how we've taken a previously un commercial format and made it work for business. The BBC and some of their mass media bedfellows latched onto the podcast with an almost dilatory air. It was almost perfunctory. Nothing so reckless from the nattily dressed chaps at Wonkana Productions.
Without exception, we have broken ground in this medium and stimulated interest previously unseen. Of course, a good deal of our strategy is about cutting through the plethora of marketing white noise that permeates much of 21st century society. To create something different, listenable, watchable and unforgettable is our key aim.
Even more satisfying is when you pick up a client who shares your vision, enthusiasm and sense of humour. Lloyd Richards, owner of LPR Mortgage Services is positioning himself as not just another mortgage broker, but someone champions the cause of the consumer. I think the spirit of that has been captured succinctly in The Real Mortgage Show, an audio podcast that is available on iTunes and on the home page of Lloyd's website at http://www.lprmortgages.co.uk

It's not about the hard sell, it's conveying personality, insight and trust. 550 downloads and rising says the podcast reigns.