Shiny new Wonkana video

A fitted vest for Kanye West?

" I used to be scared to talk to a gay person." Perhaps not the greatest shock to learn this less than broad minded perspective emanates from the hip hop community. In a recent MTV interview, Kanye West points the finger at fellow rappers ( naming no names, presumably for fear of being peppered by the indiscriminate ammo from a Mach 10 ) and says his contemporaries worry what other people will think if they converse with a homosexual. In a piece of bar room philosophy almost akin to Socrates in its profundity, West denied that a person's dress sense betrays their sexuality, adding he is secure with his own orientation and happy to talk to gay people. How magnanimous !

West said: "In hip-hop, there's people - and let's not even say scared like homophobic - but they're scared of the way people gonna look at them." At the peak of his libertarian powers, our conciliatory friend declares he's happy to dress in an outlandish fashion and have conversations with people who he refers to as " blatantly gay ".

Now there's a category that councils will be latching onto. Degrees of gayness. " Please tick the box you consider most applies to yourself."

Are you (a) Secretly gay (b) Openly but subtly gay or (c) Blatantly gay ?

If only the world had more rappers.

Christian Bale - No Salvation

"Do you want me to trash your lights? Do you want me to trash your effin' lights?" Not the most convincing or sinister of threats; in fact a rather cissy and milksop excuse of a hissy fit. Nonetheless an ill judged and pretentious tirade. Frankly, a wildly generous philanthropic gesture of Bruce Wayne proportions couldn't restore the damaged reputation of Mr Bale now. What of the films director ? What say you, Mr McG? A deafening silence. It would appear that the living tissue over his metal endo skeleton conceals one missing but vital element : a spine. Not a word of castigation for our self absorbed protagonist. Massively paid film actors are beyond reproach and too terrified to call Bale's bluff, McG (wasn't he Madame Cholet's hubby in The Wombles?) cowers into his panaflex lens. It's one thing to chide someone for wandering onto set during an emotionally charged scene, another to smash up their fluorescent tubes. Christian Bale is so big for his boots that there is now only one course of action; send a cyborg back in time to teach the punk some manners.

Wonkana's unbridled success

There's much to crow about in Wonkana podcasting circles. The new media chattering classes are agog at how we've taken a previously un commercial format and made it work for business. The BBC and some of their mass media bedfellows latched onto the podcast with an almost dilatory air. It was almost perfunctory. Nothing so reckless from the nattily dressed chaps at Wonkana Productions.
Without exception, we have broken ground in this medium and stimulated interest previously unseen. Of course, a good deal of our strategy is about cutting through the plethora of marketing white noise that permeates much of 21st century society. To create something different, listenable, watchable and unforgettable is our key aim.
Even more satisfying is when you pick up a client who shares your vision, enthusiasm and sense of humour. Lloyd Richards, owner of LPR Mortgage Services is positioning himself as not just another mortgage broker, but someone champions the cause of the consumer. I think the spirit of that has been captured succinctly in The Real Mortgage Show, an audio podcast that is available on iTunes and on the home page of Lloyd's website at http://www.lprmortgages.co.uk

It's not about the hard sell, it's conveying personality, insight and trust. 550 downloads and rising says the podcast reigns.

The Missing Link

Lay everything bare. That's the way in 2008. Kyle, Katona, Price, Brand, Ross and a homogeneous cast of thousands have all become dramatis personae in the spouting of the trivial and the dysfunctional. There is a time for diplomacy and a time for tact. That time is 4.54pm as I compose this blog entry. The organisation I am about to direct a tirade at shall remain nameless. I would say they know who they are, but I fear they don't. I come away with the distinct impression that not only does their right hand not know what their left hand is doing, the left hand believes its opposite number never existed in the first place. As a business, we have spent the best part of a year meeting various figureheads from this organisation and asking who it would be best to speak to given our line of work and how it will enhance theirs beyond question. Usually it's a "drop me an email and I'll point you in the right direction". Then the email only returns after 2 prompts over a 2 to 3 week period and even then it usually results in the same thing.Nada. Sometimes you'll get a name and a direct number. But they tend to be the wrong person too. It's a shambles. From top to bottom. Side to side. Would you be surprised if I told you public money pays for this organisation? Thought not.

Baby P

The question has been replaced by a statement. "Has the world gone mad?" treads amongst the extraneous. Regard the photograph of female prisoners in HMP Holloway at the "Monsters Ball" and I defy you not to feel the same. There was certainly life in the lifers' wing that day. If only the same could be said for their diabolically persecuted son. A Halloween party for murderers. Think of a party and thoughts turn to celebration, love and reward. How cruelly Baby P was denied of all these. Unquestioning and shameless are the authorities whose twisted thought process equates fancy dress and cake with these embodiments of gratuitous and merciless violence. If Dostoevsky had lived now, his epoch capturing work would have been re titled "Crime and Understanding". Inalienable human rights without any responsibility. How is it allowed to happen? Who thinks "let's throw these nice people a pagan themed bash"? And why are they still in a job? A life without consequence. A life term without punishment.
The world has gone mad.

Barack Obama didn't get there first

I'd had enough of playing Robbie Williams and George Benson. The time for a change had come. I'd been thinking it long before Barack Obama said it out loud. Yes, there'd been some compensations in being a radio presenter; the interviews it had allowed me to do. Sir Ian McKellen, Sharleen Spiteri, The Beautiful South etc etc. I could go on. Some of them did. Along the way, I'd met my now business partner and erstwhile Australian, Colin McGinness. As someone steeped in broadcasting production ( and with a Sony under his belt ), Colin's creative muse is almost always on the go. After an arduous day of podcast and radio ad production, he spends many an evening hunched over his home studio, producing music and writing sketches for our "hobby" comedy podcast Waiting for Death.

I remember clearly the point at which Wonkana Productions went from being a smorgasbord of "what if's" to a living, breathing start up. Just over 18 months ago, we were viewing the BBCs use of podcasting with great intrigue. Then came the phenomenal success of The Guardian's Ricky Gervais podcast. Download statistics read like Australian telephone numbers. Surely it was possible to take this medium and fashion it into a new and powerful marketing tool for both external and internal communications in all kinds of business. We had no shortage of professional voice overs and presenters in our midst, we could write scripts and music and I had the interview skills to get the best from a company's CEO or newest recruit. Like an HGV driver using satnav, our first order took us in a completely unexpected direction., With a respected sports journalist acting as go between, Littlewoodspoker.com signed up for the first professionally produced poker podcast "The Pokercast". Now available on their website, itunes and other podcast directories, he says, deploying the obligatory plug. As we close out our first year, we've been working with a number of PR agencies to service their clients. One of them is the Bristol Enterprise Network, whose event Entrepreneur's Question Time has now drawn 35,000 downloads as an audio podcast. Greater awareness, more new business and more repeat business - that's what this medium can bring. We even make broadcast standard video.

Networking has of course been one of our priorities as a new business and whilst the BNIs, BRXs and every other acronym under the sun have their place, I can honestly say Enterprise Club is invaluable. Well run events and no costly membership make it a great way for business to spread its wings. I've now been able to put into practice some of the techniques and devices demonstrated at Enterprise Club seminars. It's surely no coincidence that we're just in the process of picking up a handful of new clients.
As many other businesses, Wonkana Productions laughs in the face of the credit crunch, thanks in part to the knowledgeable and supportive work of the University. And just in case you're wondering, it means "happy hunting ground" in Aboriginal. Wonkana, not the credit crunch.