Wonkana Productions creates Podcasts of the highest standards.
Professional scriptwriting.
Voice over artists.
High end production values.
Our desire is to create a new marketing tool for your business
that adds depth and clarity to what you do.
No matter what your business, we will help advise and produce a quality podcast that sets your business apart from all the rest.
Our approach is to give you control of this powerful new advertising and promotional solution.
You’ll have a presentation that’s not just for your website,
but free to use on your phone systems or in-store where appropriate. You can use your podcast however you want.
You can even sell advertising in your presentation.
It's entirely up to you.
Think beyond the print ads in the paper and the rushed
30 second commercials on radio.
Now is the time to tell the world about your business, with the quality and integrity it deserves.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com
Showing posts with label podcasts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label podcasts. Show all posts
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Friday, 20 June 2008
Googality and Frugality
This search engine optimisation gubbins is a minefield. So much so that I half expect a bunch of paps to be merrily snapping Heather Mills sporting a protective visor next to a Google search box. Meta Tags this, keywords that, back links the other. It's all designed to mystify and exasperate. Thanks to the superfluous function of Google Hot Trends, I know that some rising-through-the-ranks stand up comedian is the third most popular search term. Bet he says "fuck" a lot. Of course, there's always Google AdWords...."Google AdWords; monetizing grammar since 2007 to fund our virtual reality canteen, if you don't mind."
Unfortunately, this isn't the face of someone who'd spend an inordinate amount of Wonkana moulah bidding for combinations of words that some chump might just type in and then click on our site.Nothing is free these days, not even words. Who'll show me £35 for anti disestablishmentarianism ? Sold to the gentleman holding the word "gullible" aloft.
It's an in exacting science, this SEO lark. And let's face it, there's nothing very in exacting about science. It makes about as much sense as Thomas steadfastly refusing to have doubts and Judas demonstrating great acts of loyalty. I am an AdWord heretic.
Little wonder, given one "expert" told me you should never bid for the most popular word(s) but target number 3 or 4 on the list. It's designed to baffle. And it's powered by Google. When it comes to riding high in the search results (and much to a web designer's chagrin) you're ever so slightly in the lap of the Gods.
"Google could have just changed their algorithm", I heard one Venture Capitalist explain to an enraptured symposium. Can we actually be certain there was ever such an algorithm in the first place? (Who's to say it wasn't long division or numerical solutions of Equations and Interpolation?)
They'll tell you anything, these technorati. If you Googled "Google algorithm" would it even be on the first page? The sensible money says you'll stumble across the two words in a completely unrelated context on page 17 of the results, just below "amoeba masturbationcam".
I.T. is a bluffer's trade if you ask me. Always dealing in the abstract, never the concrete; that's the way they like it. It keeps them comfortable. Leading you up the proverbial garden path with unresolvable statements, answers that sound like questions and muttering the on screen prompts under their breath to sound proficient.
" What's the Google Algorithm? " you should ask some time, just to throw a spanner in the works. Or a Google bot in the Meta Whatsit. See our stuff at this address
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/
Beats paying.
Unfortunately, this isn't the face of someone who'd spend an inordinate amount of Wonkana moulah bidding for combinations of words that some chump might just type in and then click on our site.Nothing is free these days, not even words. Who'll show me £35 for anti disestablishmentarianism ? Sold to the gentleman holding the word "gullible" aloft.
It's an in exacting science, this SEO lark. And let's face it, there's nothing very in exacting about science. It makes about as much sense as Thomas steadfastly refusing to have doubts and Judas demonstrating great acts of loyalty. I am an AdWord heretic.
Little wonder, given one "expert" told me you should never bid for the most popular word(s) but target number 3 or 4 on the list. It's designed to baffle. And it's powered by Google. When it comes to riding high in the search results (and much to a web designer's chagrin) you're ever so slightly in the lap of the Gods.
"Google could have just changed their algorithm", I heard one Venture Capitalist explain to an enraptured symposium. Can we actually be certain there was ever such an algorithm in the first place? (Who's to say it wasn't long division or numerical solutions of Equations and Interpolation?)
They'll tell you anything, these technorati. If you Googled "Google algorithm" would it even be on the first page? The sensible money says you'll stumble across the two words in a completely unrelated context on page 17 of the results, just below "amoeba masturbationcam".
I.T. is a bluffer's trade if you ask me. Always dealing in the abstract, never the concrete; that's the way they like it. It keeps them comfortable. Leading you up the proverbial garden path with unresolvable statements, answers that sound like questions and muttering the on screen prompts under their breath to sound proficient.
" What's the Google Algorithm? " you should ask some time, just to throw a spanner in the works. Or a Google bot in the Meta Whatsit. See our stuff at this address
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/
Beats paying.
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
From the sublime......
Yesterday was a veritable pot pourri of sales encounters. In particular, two experiences that were about as close as Arctic and Antarctic. The first involved a lavish country venue, seat of extravagant weddings and Sealed Knot re enactments. The second is a hotbed of musical talent and latent celebrity illuminati. I'd put a call in to the former, so we could punt our wedding podcast.
" Claire's out to lunch ", exclaimed the receptionist, " could I be of help ? "
Never one to let a sales lead go cold, I told her that yes, she could be of help and explained who we were and what our wedding podcast was. There was a silence. It was long.
" I'm sorry......I don't understand", she countered, stonewalling my spiel with talk of a PowerPoint presentation they give to prospective wedding clients. My frustration was palpable by this point. After much clamouring for alternative explanations, the penny finally fell into the chasm.
All a very great distance from the way my email to a certain artist liaison company was received. Yes of course they'd like to meet us and naturally they'd like to discuss pod casting. It's what we do.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/
" Claire's out to lunch ", exclaimed the receptionist, " could I be of help ? "
Never one to let a sales lead go cold, I told her that yes, she could be of help and explained who we were and what our wedding podcast was. There was a silence. It was long.
" I'm sorry......I don't understand", she countered, stonewalling my spiel with talk of a PowerPoint presentation they give to prospective wedding clients. My frustration was palpable by this point. After much clamouring for alternative explanations, the penny finally fell into the chasm.
All a very great distance from the way my email to a certain artist liaison company was received. Yes of course they'd like to meet us and naturally they'd like to discuss pod casting. It's what we do.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
E-fail
Sending bank statements to the company accountant. Easy. Or so you would have thought. My pc and I are largely simpatico when it comes to the rudiments of sending. Dear old outlook put in some sterling work when Wonkana sent out its monthly newsletter. By the by, if you could use a copy, dot the i's and cross the t's here and I'll make sure one reaches you.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/contactus.php
My expectations of our email were somewhat dented when it came to attaching scanned documents and asking the not entirely unreasonable task of emailing them. Outlook's coping mechanisms looked decidedly battered as I pressed the "send" button and decamped to the kitchen in order to kill the inevitable passage of time. After making some tea, walking the dog (that ones for you, Col!), dismantling the house brick-by-brick, rebuilding it and still having time for a trip to Victorian England in the time machine I'd had time to build, still the antagonistic green bar was only two thirds full. This email wasn't leaving Wonkana Production HQ. Given the complete absence of alacrity by Microsoft, our server and the incorrect alingment of ley lines between here and North Somerset I remained remarkably even handed. No profanities passed these lips. You see it's all part of our mission statement as deft exponents of podcasting; the air is never blue, only green. So in place of the f word, the c word, the w word or any natty combination of all three, I let rip with a litany of calming and eco friendly vocabulary.
"Oh offset carbon footprint" I cried, as a repeated pressing of "send/receive" proved as futile as the last. I even opened up my BT yahoo email, which proved about as useful as a MENSA test in an audience of Jeremy Kyle guests. I'd even consider a conversation with our web/IT guy, but think how he'd feel if I dissected Osbourne's use of pusillanimous and phlegmatic in " Look back in anger " to him using polysyllabic and exotic words. Best if his patois on peripherals and my limited understanding on matters IT retain their separation. Blogging I can do, just don't ask me to send large attachments. And no, that isn't spam speak for free Viagra.
http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/contactus.php
My expectations of our email were somewhat dented when it came to attaching scanned documents and asking the not entirely unreasonable task of emailing them. Outlook's coping mechanisms looked decidedly battered as I pressed the "send" button and decamped to the kitchen in order to kill the inevitable passage of time. After making some tea, walking the dog (that ones for you, Col!), dismantling the house brick-by-brick, rebuilding it and still having time for a trip to Victorian England in the time machine I'd had time to build, still the antagonistic green bar was only two thirds full. This email wasn't leaving Wonkana Production HQ. Given the complete absence of alacrity by Microsoft, our server and the incorrect alingment of ley lines between here and North Somerset I remained remarkably even handed. No profanities passed these lips. You see it's all part of our mission statement as deft exponents of podcasting; the air is never blue, only green. So in place of the f word, the c word, the w word or any natty combination of all three, I let rip with a litany of calming and eco friendly vocabulary.
"Oh offset carbon footprint" I cried, as a repeated pressing of "send/receive" proved as futile as the last. I even opened up my BT yahoo email, which proved about as useful as a MENSA test in an audience of Jeremy Kyle guests. I'd even consider a conversation with our web/IT guy, but think how he'd feel if I dissected Osbourne's use of pusillanimous and phlegmatic in " Look back in anger " to him using polysyllabic and exotic words. Best if his patois on peripherals and my limited understanding on matters IT retain their separation. Blogging I can do, just don't ask me to send large attachments. And no, that isn't spam speak for free Viagra.
Monday, 16 June 2008
Hanging out to dry
The weekend is a foreign country. I do different things there. Re stringing a rotary clothes line for one. George Benson may believe that children are our future, but I believe even the sharpest minds of the epoch would err and stutter over the intricacies of this puzzling task. What is taut at the beginning of the exercise is flaccid again soon enough (yak yak!). It is a mystery to put even Curie or Fleming to the intellectual sword.
Moving as I do in the most sophisticated of chattering classes, the other part of the weekend was spent raising a canalside glass to a former colleague now in the pay of Avon Fire and Rescue. Now there's an organisation ripe for the podcasting. Engaging with communities and selling the prevention message :
Fire bad, diversity good.
Think of podcasting as the 21st century counterpart of smoke signals. As more of us become eco aware, hug trees and harvest our own superskunk, the message of environmental responsibility makes podcasting the new medium of choice. What better way to underscore the horrors of arson than to hear from a reformed arsonist, intercut with powerful and moving memories from those who have lived to tell the tale.
Dramatic stories recounted in the most eloquent and gritty way. All produced by Wonkana Productions. Of course.
Find the good chaps at http://www.wonkanaproductions.com
Moving as I do in the most sophisticated of chattering classes, the other part of the weekend was spent raising a canalside glass to a former colleague now in the pay of Avon Fire and Rescue. Now there's an organisation ripe for the podcasting. Engaging with communities and selling the prevention message :
Fire bad, diversity good.
Think of podcasting as the 21st century counterpart of smoke signals. As more of us become eco aware, hug trees and harvest our own superskunk, the message of environmental responsibility makes podcasting the new medium of choice. What better way to underscore the horrors of arson than to hear from a reformed arsonist, intercut with powerful and moving memories from those who have lived to tell the tale.
Dramatic stories recounted in the most eloquent and gritty way. All produced by Wonkana Productions. Of course.
Find the good chaps at http://www.wonkanaproductions.com
Thursday, 12 June 2008
A careers job
Credit is a welcome concept, but mercifully this type of credit isn't subject to the forces of oscillating money markets and is unlikely to discombobulate before you can say, err "discombobulate". This is praise. Credit where credit's due. Never mind the crunch, feel the bite.
Yesterday I learned that one humongous - sized organisation who have heard our careers podcast demo expressed their admiration for the concept and its execution.
They're only human.
I say we're on to a winning formula, but this is where I draw a line in the sand and shut my cake hole. Blogs have ears. Careless talk and all that. If Wonkana Productions isn't dominating the world of business podcasts within the next 12 months, I will personally perform a fowl and inappropriate act on a diseased warthog. Working on the basis that it's good to receive, but even better to give ( and I've definitely moved away from the warthog now ) I must heap praise and general largesse on my business partner Colin a.k.a. Aussie Col on the pokercast.
http://www.littlewoodspoker.com/poker-lounge/online-poker-podcast
The careers podcast was ostensibly Col's idea and it's such a work of concise creativity that you'd never know his spirit had so nearly been decimated by 5 years plus of " we love (insert local landmark here) " jingle making with scripts sent to him by those who've clearly had their imaginative faculties surgically removed. Colin certainly knows his stuff. And before you go dashing off to Wikipedia, general largesse was a leading military figure in the Franco Prussian war. (Citation needed)
Yesterday I learned that one humongous - sized organisation who have heard our careers podcast demo expressed their admiration for the concept and its execution.
They're only human.
I say we're on to a winning formula, but this is where I draw a line in the sand and shut my cake hole. Blogs have ears. Careless talk and all that. If Wonkana Productions isn't dominating the world of business podcasts within the next 12 months, I will personally perform a fowl and inappropriate act on a diseased warthog. Working on the basis that it's good to receive, but even better to give ( and I've definitely moved away from the warthog now ) I must heap praise and general largesse on my business partner Colin a.k.a. Aussie Col on the pokercast.
http://www.littlewoodspoker.com/poker-lounge/online-poker-podcast
The careers podcast was ostensibly Col's idea and it's such a work of concise creativity that you'd never know his spirit had so nearly been decimated by 5 years plus of " we love (insert local landmark here) " jingle making with scripts sent to him by those who've clearly had their imaginative faculties surgically removed. Colin certainly knows his stuff. And before you go dashing off to Wikipedia, general largesse was a leading military figure in the Franco Prussian war. (Citation needed)
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