Podcasting News

And so we return, hanging sweetly in the ether, like the aroma from a highly exclusive yet accessible eau de toilette. Now before panic sets in, I can confirm the contents of this e letter have been ratified by our compliance unit and do not cross the "edgy" but palatable comedy boundaries you have come to expect. There'll be no falling on swords BBC style and no prank calls to national treasures. That said, I did toy with the idea of reversing the charges from the New York speaking clock to Dame Judi Dench. One unreported and intriguing facet of the Sachsgate saga is that sales of Fawlty Towers dvds have enjoyed something of a resurgence! At the ripe young age of 78, we may now bear witness to a Manuel renaissance and some slapstick senile delinquency. Was the swearing excised from the podcast I wonder?


No such problem with the genial and charismatic Lloyd Richards and LPR Mortgage Services. I met young Lloyd through the Business Club and all sycophancy aside (there's a first!), there are some clients who are so enthused, so pro active and so switched on, that you almost wonder if they've been rote learning your business plan. Lloyd is one of these. As an independent mortgage broker, the opportunity was to create a broadcast quality audio podcast that would sit on the LPR site, iTunes and myriad podcast directories. As a pilot episode, both of us are grinning a la Cheshire Cat. The Wonkana produced podcast begins to capture Lloyd's energy, humour and equally, knowledge for mortgages and the property market. Heaven knows we need it now! "The Real Mortgage Show" is a great example of how a business can really personalise itself and communicate in a green, paperless way. It also allows you to come across as eminently likeable, ahead of the field and therefore an innovator. Do have a listen :

http://www.lprmortgages.co.uk/


I did promise that we'd veer away from any incendiary topics or material likely to cause offence and raising of the hackles. I fibbed. Whilst filling out a web registration form for the 2012 Olympics, it came to my attention that far from being marginalised, religion is bigger than ever. More than a page of the form was given over to monitoring the spiritual leanings of your company's staff. Luckily, this potentially hot potato was circumnavigated by our theological insouciance. Colin's atheism was catered for, my low key Christian beliefs were accounted some way down the list behind Voodoo, Shamanism and Branch Davidianism and our team of writers and producers would rightly chide me for prying into their private views. We only wanted to pitch for an Olympics podcast, not create the profile of a hate preacher! Should you be looking into the way your business communicates and you haven't the slightest interest in our religious diversity, please drop by at http://www.wonkanaproductions.com/

Mind my canapes

You know when you've truly arrived on the business networking scene when the Dean of a University's Business School invites you to a full blown lecture, finger buffet and all.
My company has been formally requested. I shall tread the oaken portals of the William Shapland Lecture Theatre and take my place for the sagacious words of Simon Denny. All hail the inaugural lecture of the Professor of Entrepreneurship! Between delicate bites on a mini chicken satay skewer, I will keenly absorb the austere and enlightening content : " Engagement through Enterprise - The Northampton Model". As a county we've been known for myriad things; shoes, Gian Sammarco (Adrian Mole), Bauhaus, Marc Warren (Hustle and pretty much everything else on tv), Andrew Collins, John Clare and Wonkana Productions. I'm sure the etiquette and manners displayed this evening will be delightful and I'm brushing up my polite small talk as we speak. Have you worked here long? Oh I work for a podcast production company; here's my card...........

Credit Crunch - The Blame Game

The premise of today's scribblings may be viewed in certain quarters as unremittingly harsh. Is not the avaricious hedge fund manager responsible for the present economic debacle?
Not really, no. I blame Sarah Beeny. The incessantly fertile, dead behind the eyes preacher of property based greed.
Ragged or not, the Beeny woman would have happily chopped in the trousers of those philanthropists had she espied a gluttonous profit. That's what it all comes down to in the end. Profit. Let's ruthlessly disregard the basic need of a roof over ones head and knock through for a hearty margin. Add a downstairs toilet. Ker-ching! Convert the loft. Show me the money! The financial woes of the global markets are nought compared to the financial attrition meted out by the Devil Incarnate. Sarah Beeny.

SatNav Frivolity

Wrong turnings. HGVs and low bridges. The creation of rat runs. Think of a satellite navigation system and not all of your perception will be flattering. Poor old SatNav slipped further down the rung of salubriousness when it was revealed Gloucestershire Constabulary were handing out dusters so as to wipe away any evidence of your Tom Tom's existence. Or Garmin. Or Sony. I forget the rest. Quarter lights were mullered, glove compartments were fingered and even NHS ambulances were raided. It was fast becoming the must-not-have accessory of the 21st Century. Not only was the mapping outdated, but the default pre-loaded voices were well, frankly, pedestrian. "Jane" was informative enough bordering on the alluring but "Brian" was dull and monotonous and the same "voice artist" behind the alleged Aussie voice "Steve". The market for celebrity and sound alike voices on your SatNav was crying out for some creative input.
Cue the guys at SatNav voices who in turn cued the chaps at Wonkana Productions. I for one have already squandered 15 years plus deploying my Lloyd Grossman, Chris Tarrant and a cast of tens on local radio. And Aussie Col's Krusty the Klown is epoch making. Like the diligent performers we are, Col and I painstakingly read the 2 page script for directions in our best impressionist voices and some of the results are filtering through to SatNav voices. Let's face it, i-spy is lame, The Little Mermaid on headrest dvd for the 15th time is stultifying and even rubber necking that 7 car pile up fails to deliver on the comedy front. Thank the high priest of satnav for these guys
http://www.satnavvoices.com/index.php?pg=2&sec=3&vid=51

Lloyd the Brave

I now know what's meant by the "real economy". It's our clients. Clients like Lloyd Richards of LPR Mortgage Services. Standard bearer for the forward thinking, the flexible and the fearless. While the high rollers were short selling, pilfering and fliching en masse, the Lloyds of this world have been planning, innovative and brave. Not for them the frippery of the corporate world and the feckless modus operandi exhibited by our High St banks. The economy may spasm and convulse as shares freefall, but the real economy becomes prodigious and resolute in the face of a downturn.
A recession may be two consecutive periods of negative growth, but the real economy stands in the defiance of such tyranny. Besides, there's no point in being negative.

I can show you the world.....

As purveyors of fine podcasts since 2006, our writing and production abilities have just been unleashed into a whole new world.Stay with me; this is no time for impromptu renditions of the Aladdin score, or indeed an unwelcome lawsuit from Alan Menken. Our newest foray beyond the core business of audio and video podcasting is on hold messaging. Press "1" if you're already hearing cheesy muzak and smug announcers telling you that "you're call is important". If you're hearing anything else, may I suggest the Archbishop of Canterbury pay you a timely visit. Happily, our messaging for BNS Management Services www.bns.co.uk defies all the on hold conventions and those ridiculously charming and handsome chaps at BNS, Andrew and Ian are very content with the results. We suspect Andrew may actually be 'phoning his own business to bathe in the glow of quality production.Earlier this week, I spent some time with doyennes of quality web design, Digital Paint www.digitalpaint.co.uk . Despite almost wandering into the local M.P's office, which is situated along from D.P. (I'd left my 3 line whip at home) I have yet to experience a more affable welcome. Refreshments were rapidly forthcoming, staff were hospitable and the Sales and Marketing Director Wayde is also a relative of the definitive Sherlock Holmes, Basil Rathbone !My day was complete.And so to complete our monthly sage words and how better than with news of a download landmark. One of our first clients were the good people at Montage Communications www.montagecomms.com in Bristol who commissioned a quarterly podcast for their client, the Bristol Enterprise Network. Imagine our level of chuffedness ( wikipedia citation pending ) when we learned the podcast has been downloaded over 10,000 times. Quick, someone call Norris McWhirter.

For your on hold messaging and podcast requirements, fill in the form at www.wonkanaproductions.com/contactus.php and thanks for spreading the word.