Hold the mayo

The tepid morning meeting was followed up with a delegation to the pub. Not to drown our sorrows, but to catch up with a renowned Metro journalist who is set to be the voice of a new Wonkana podcast. As a print journo, she'd spoken fluidly and eloquently on the radio (unlike the majority of alleged presenters) and set me thinking as to her potential for new and innovative podcast possibilities. Before you could say "PCSOs are no more than lost shoppers and an outrageously false economy", my business partner Colin had whipped up a compelling format on a subject close to her writing muse; health. Already armed with experience and nous in food writing, our new podcast presenter carries the ideal credentials to make this new concept work.
Unlike the food at the pub.
The landlord of the hostelry in question is affable enough and on the money when it comes to snappy service.
15 minutes later, the two paninis and curly fries had been despatched to our table before you could say " can I have a VAT receipt, please ". Lucie had already eaten. No doubt her canteen sandwich will be dressed down in a future edition of Metro. That said, it can't have surpassed my "cheese melt" for its sheer back-of-the-throat-clogging quality. The sous chef was clearly a soused chef and had run amok with the mayonnaise. If I had liberated this insipid creation into the street, havoc would have surely ensued from the inevitable mayo slick. Whole armies could have been vanquished with a mere wave of this sesame seed topped aberration and it's reprehensible viscosity. Two words you certainly won't hear together when we launch the health podcast.